Surviving Abroad

The majority of British travellers are only happy when on holiday if they have access to PROPER (ie BRITISH) food and drink.
Foreigners, it is well known, have no idea how to make a PROPER (ie BRITISH) cup of tea.
On the menu, FOREIGN FOOD both looks and sounds DANGEROUS.....

Here are some examples:

Fish soup with rust and croutons (France)
Half a lawyer with prawns (Switzerland)
Strong soup with added materials (Hungary)
Pee soup (Beijing)
Goulash two cats (Czech Republid)
Fich - poup (Majorca)
Carpaccio of calf burnt to the Savoiarda (Turin)
Depressed soup (Russia)

Really sad soup!

Thin of Octopus (Turin)
Lorry driver soup (Russia)
Try it and try to forget it (Cyprus)

Which on a plate ( Hungary)
Poked Cutlet Sandwitch ( Japan)
Ham Sand Witches (India)


Very pretty lady salad (Russia)
Fresh stir fried crap with black bean sauce (Ealing)
Kiss Lorraine (Kos)
Green jewess with jam (Spain)
A Confection of Plugs & Geysers (France)
Turdey slices ( Tenerife)
Sopping kid (Madeira)


Restless eggs (Mozambique)
Wood flower picks sea cucumber hoof (China)
Staft Domestos ('stuffed tomatoes',Greece)
Deep fried Ghost (China)

Stewed Language in assorted prinkles (Spain)


The tripe of water (China)
Worm pig Stomach (China)
Bored meat stew (Slovenia)
Cow's Bottom (rump steak, Switzerland)
Bowels stuffed in spleen (Cyprus)
Cheesebugger and chips (Greece)
Corrugated iron beef (Beijing)
Saliva chicken (Beijing)
Government abuse chicken (Beijing)
Skewer of chicken to the bunions ( France)
Bowels with organ blight (Greece)
Thigh with Spit (Greece)
Oz sirloin on grilled pollen (Spain)
Roast mammary gland of sheep (Bulgaria)
Fine roast pussy or rabbi with stir fry
Passable scrawny chicken with stir fry
Bring own chopsticks ( Hong Kong )

Believe it or not, this is an illustration of a scrawny chicken from a Chinese cookery lesson!

Slippery meat in king's vegetables in pillar (China)
Domestic life beef immerses cabbage (China)
Instantaneous steak (minute steak, Mozambique)
Carbon burns black bowel (China)
Cowboy leg (China)
Sliced children with broccoli (China)
Beef of tune to the villainous gravy (Madeira)

Really villainous gravy!

Pock-faced Ladies Tofu (Beijing)
Vegetarian stew with cow (Russia)
Benumbed hot vegetables (China)
Get on the wild plants (Japan)


Crap in the grass (Beijing)
Out of work to the map (La Rochelle)
Holy Stone (La Rochelle)
Monkey Dung (Russia)
Fried Dope (Czech Republic)
Smashed Pots ( Greece)


The oil explodes the shrimp ( China)
Stuffed wolf (France)
Sad-faced Cod (Russia)


Fraid Squid (Morocco)
Chop the strange fish (Beijing)
A quick shave to the iron ('razor shellfish' in Barcelona)
Dumpling stuffed with the ovary and digestive glands of a crab ( China)
Three cute prawns suntanning on the rice ( China)

And finally: DESSERTS
Pleasant aftertaste (China)
Rape, Sailor style ( Spain)
Creeps Suzette (Madeira)
The tart at the whisky (Minorca)

Ice cream with rubber chocolate( Bulgaria)
Pyjama sweat (Majorca)


You have no rights to post comments